I think I have developed an “insistent-persistent” side… I have become highly confrontational and expect people, who matter to me, to be so as well. This hasn’t always been the case, as it is a relatively newly-acquired trait. It appeared only a few years ago, when I decided (after a lot of soul searching – and I mean a lot!) to really push myself to the limits and face my fears of being rejected. I was afraid I was going to be rejected by my dad and that side of my modern family. For years, we had had a very dysfunctional relationship – strangers in our own clan – we never really addressed openly our disappointments and issues. This consequently led to a complete and utter misunderstanding; Silence breads all sorts of misconceptions, but if you want to be felt and understood, you have to do the unthinkable (for most of us): let down your defence mechanisms and bare your vulnerability. In other words, share your truth.
For years, I had lived under the shadow of having a very challenging, to non-existent at times, relationship with my father. No matter the infinite love I was getting by my mother, stepfather and brother, I was haunted by the thought that there was also another family on my paternal side, with whom my relationships were strained (and I have been a very typical example of a girl with daddy issues – attracting all sorts of bad apples!).